Complaining, Complacency, and Compassion (Part 3)

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.  John 13:34-35

"As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

Well, Jesus gave up His life for us.  Do you love others like that?

Sure, yeah!  I would give up my life for my husband, my son, my daughter, my best friend, etc.!  I love others!

It's easy to love our friends and family sacrificially.  But are they the only people in the world that God loves?

No.  Not by a long shot.

Jesus demonstrated over and over and over again that he loved (loves) people of low stature.  Whether it was the woman at the well, lepers, the poor, the sick, the disabled, or little children, Jesus loved them all.  His heart for the hurting and the lowly was clear and evident when He was healing people, restoring them to life, talking with them, walking with them...read the Gospels and you will see over and over and over again that Jesus' heart is clearly invested in that group of people.

So where do we, as prosperous, comfortable, and pampered Christians, get off thinking that our comfortable lifestyle supersedes caring for the very people that Jesus tended to?

I will confess that I struggle with selfishness, especially since Ryan has been diagnosed with cancer.  I occasionally have the attitude, "Well, I'm going through a rough time in my life, so I deserve to be selfish about material desires and how I spend my time."  My attitude towards that is flat out wrong.  We (Ryan and Kendra) don't get a free pass to be disobedient to the Lord just because our lives are tough.

Something that we have been convicted of many times during the last several months (hey, we're slow learners) is that if we are to live our lives in radical obedience to God, then our compassion for those that God loves (which is everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, age, gender, nationality, disability, economic status, smell, health, and grammar) should be overflowing from our hearts into their lives.  One of the simplest ways that we have done this is to sponsor Lonyamal, a twelve-year-old boy from Kenya through Compassion International.  As much as I love praying for Lonyamal, writing to him, and sending him monetary gifts, I can't help but feel that God is asking more of me.

What does this look like?  For me, I'm not quite sure yet.  I am praying that God would direct me to more opportunities to have an impact in people's lives and to show them Christlike compassion.  I have some opportunities with my students to show them love and compassion, and that's one of the primary ways that I am trying (and occasionally failing) to live out the commandment to love others.  But again, I feel that there is more that will be asked of me.  Lord, open my eyes.

I also know that God has continuously been working in my husband's heart to see people in a different light.  One of the things that he has always struggled with is to judge people before he ever knows them (don't worry, I have his permission to share this).  Before he was diagnosed, Ryan tended to overlook or ignore people that were clearly poor and shabbily dressed.  He feels as though his eyes have been totally opened since last April.  He recently was driving through Hart and noticed three individual people walking down the road, downtrodden, shabby, and dejected.  Instead of making judgement about how they must have lived their lives in order to get to such a sorry state, he felt his heart overflow with compassion for them and felt even more strongly convicted to share the hope that he has with those that are hurting.

If you are sitting here, reading this and wondering whether or not there is something more that you could be doing to show the same compassion that Jesus has for people, the answer is more than likely yes.  We all have areas of our lives that we could convert from chasing pleasure to making a difference.  I know that I certainly do.  The question is, are you willing to give up some of your closely guarded time, some precious money, or your comfort in order to be obedient and demonstrate love to others?

Complaining.  Are you complaining about insignificant troubles in your life?  Do you have spirit of thankfulness for the blessings you've been given?

Complacency.  Are you sold out for God's Kingdom?  Are you wholly committed to living your life according to His purposes?

Compassion.  Do you love the same people that God loves?  He loves every person.  Are you ready to demonstrate compassion in a real, tangible way?

Lest I ever come across as arrogant or as if I have all of my ducks in a row, let me tell you guys that these three lessons are things that I am continuously being challenged with.  I complain a lot.  My spiritual life has been in shambles the last month or so since I've been struggling with personal issues and I've fallen victim (again) to complacency.  And even though I think that God has done incredibly painful but good work in our hearts to be more compassionate towards others, I have a long way to go until I'm a great model for that.  As I have written these messages, I have been really frank with people and flat out challenging others because these have been the words that the Lord has laid up on my heart.

Thank you guys for letting me be real here and for continuing to pray for my family.  Even though it's a little scary to be transparent, I know that God is doing work through us and it is a blessing to be along for the ride as He teaches us more and more about what it means to be radically obedient to Him.

...and then I remembered that he has cancer.

So things were going awesome today.  It's super beautiful outside, the warmest March on record in Michigan.  The sun is shining!  My students were a lot of fun today, and I thoroughly enjoyed teaching them about possessive adjectives.  I know, that doesn't sound like fun to most of you.

So as I say goodbye to them and prepare to leave school to go out and enjoy this beautiful weather...

I remembered that I have to meet my husband in Muskegon today.

Not to go shopping, which is my favorite Muskegon event.

Not to go out to dinner, which is my second favorite Muskegon event.

But to take him to his chemo infusion.

Because he has cancer.

And all of a sudden I just felt really deflated and tears instantly sprung to my eyes.  I'm losing my happy, peppy, energetic husband to another stinking week of lethargy, nausea, and malaise.

HOW MUCH LONGER, GOD?  WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER US FROM THIS?!

Complaining, Complacency, and Compassion (Part 1)

I haven't blogged for the last few weeks, due to just being plain crazy busy...and maybe a slight plateau in my writing enthusiasm.  As I was praying the last few days for God to teach me something new, He brought me back to three things that have been on my heart and mind: complaining about trivialities, complacency in our spiritual life, and compassion for those that God feels compassion for.  Rather than force people to read a humongous manifesto about the three of them combined, I decided to break it up into three parts and tackle one item per post.

COMPLAINING

My son is a darling.  I love him to pieces, and most of the time he is an angel.  However, lately he has had some really tough mornings.  He definitely takes after me, his mother, in his lack of enthusiasm and general grumpiness when it comes to waking up.

Yawn.  Argh, the light is starting to peek through my room-darkening shades.  It must be about eight a.m.  It's too early.  I wish that my toddler circadian rhythm would allow me to sleep until nine like I used to.  Alright, here we go.  Mama!  Sheesh.  It's been five seconds since I called to her.  I thought she'd be waiting outside my door.  MAMA!  Ugh.  Where is she?  I want my diaper changed immediately, and she'd better have a sippy cup full of warm milk when she walks through the door.  I would think that anything less would be atrocious on her part.  Okay, we're working on thirty seconds now.  Finally, here she comes.  She'd better have that mil...WHAT!  How dare you come in here without a sippy cup!  I'm liable to throw myself back down on my pillow pet and scream at you!  No! Don't you dare change my diaper now!  I want MILK! 

Ugh, she's still stronger than me.  She wrestled with me all the way to the diaper changing station.  Guess I'm going to have to wait for TWO WHOLE MINUTES to get my milk today.  Grrrrr.  Alright, diaper change over.  Off we go to the kitchen.  It's MILK TIME, baby!  Here's my mom, pouring the milk.  SERIOUSLY!?  You're using the BLUE cup?!  You know that I like my milk in the YELLOW cup!  OH MY WORD, why are you NOT answering my requests!  I want things the way I want them!  And I want it NOW!  I'm going to go throw a fit now because I want milk in the yellow cup!  I'm going to go complain to all of my toddler friends about how when you serve me milk, you serve it to me in a stupid blue cup, AND you waited 30 seconds to come in and rescue me from my crib today.  I'm going to complain about you a LOT, Mom!  You didn't do things exactly the way that I think you should!

Yes, that is really his general disposition on occasion in the morning.  Most mornings he's happy and grateful to be picked up, changed, and given milk, but on occasion he has a negative attitude and the smallest things give him cause to complain.  Now, I know that he's not quite two and he's prone to irrationality by virtue of his developmental stage, so I laugh off the mornings where he is a total grump and chalk it up to totally normal toddler behavior.

But as you were reading the above story, did you notice anything similar to the way that Christian adults sometimes behave?  We feel that anything less than us being absolutely comfortable is a mistake on God's part.  We had saved up X amount of money to go on vacation, and then our kid got sick and we had to pay medical bills.  Rather than thank God for having allowed us to pay for the medical bills immediately because of the provision of savings, we complain about the missed trip.  Rather than thank God for our job, which helps provide for our families, we complain that it's not high-paying enough, that our boss is too ___ (fill in the blank), or that we are passed over for a promotion.  Rather than thank God for the beautiful children that he has created to be in our families, we complain about the gender of the child or the burden of raising it.  Instead of thanking God for our health, we complain when we contract the common cold.  Try having cancer once in your life, you'll never complain about a cold/flu bug/sinus infection EVER again.

We Christians complain ALL the time about ridiculous stuff.  We somehow place an expectation on God that we are not to endure trials or character-building situations.  How do you think this reflects our faith to non-believers?  We are commanded to do everything without grumbling or complaining (Phil. 2:14), and yet so many of us have bought into this mentality that we deserve nothing less than a beautiful house, an easy life, and tons of extra money in the bank.  When Christians complain about trivialities, non-believers hear them and think that there is nothing special or different about our attitudes.

The truth is, very few of the Christians that I run with have any reason to complain against God's provision in their lives (including Ryan and I!).  We are all comfortable, safe, and well-provided for.  But there is an innate feeling within many of us that is a toxic remnant of our inherent sinful nature that makes us feel like we are little gods on our throne, and no one had better forget that.

The Israelites were famous for this grumbling & complaining attitude as they wandered the desert.  Numbers 11:1-4 details their lack of thankfulness:

And the people complained in the hearing of the Lord about their misfortunes, and when the Lord heard it, his anger was kindled, and the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some outlying parts of the camp. Then the people cried out to Moses, and Moses prayed to the Lord, and the fire died down. So the name of that place was called Taberah, because the fire of the Lord burned among them. Now the rabble that was among them had a strong craving. And the people of Israel also wept again and said, “Oh that we had meat to eat!

Notice that it said that God's anger burned.  Here were a couple million of His people, that He was lovingly teaching and caring for, and they continued to complain...because wandering in the desert was not what they had planned for their lives, nor was a vegetarian diet.  They even wanted to return to their life of enslavement in Egypt at some points during their forty years.  How about that for rationality?  What a slap in the face it is to God when we flippantly tell Him, "Yeah, I know that you're providing for me and all, but it's not enough.  You're not enough for me."  I don't know about you, but that makes me shiver to think of the way that God's anger burns against those that complain about trivialities.

Now, I am not expecting that we are all going to be perfect at this notion of not complaining.  Sometimes life gives us seriously bitter lemons, and it is healthy for us to express our disappointment and our anger.  Bottling our feelings is never a good idea emotionally, and I do truly believe that God wants us to come to Him with our feelings.  What I don't think God likes or desires is for us to be ungrateful and bitter and negative.  It is a good idea to have someone in our lives that is a mentor or a close friend that is able to point out truth to us when we are in the depths of despair or crisis.  For an example of this, read the book of Job, specifically chapters 10 and 11.  Job was in the middle of his trial and illness, and he complained bitterly against the Lord in Chapter 10.  His friend Zophar confronts him with truth in Chapter 11 and pretty much tells Job to check his sinful attitude.  Do you have a Zophar in your life?  Is there someone that you're willing to listen to when they straight up tell you that your attitude is not where it should be?

Complaining is not something that any of us are immune to.  However, we need to train ourselves to think more in terms of thankfulness and to ensure that our prayers and petitions are chock full of thanksgiving.  Our God is a giver of good gifts!

Lessons I've been learning lately.

You might want to sit down.  I have a lot to say. :)  I have missed blogging for the last couple of weeks and have had a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head, but I have lacked the time and ambition (and um, correct attitude) to blog.

First of all, let me just say that God took Ryan and I over His proverbial knee and SPANKED us this morning.  Seriously, we both felt like grated cheese when we left church - in a good way.  The Lord shredded some serious apathy and entitlement that has been growing in our hearts lately.  Since we got our good news, life has been kind of weird.  There is a huge sense of relief in our hearts that SOMETHING is going in the right direction for once since April, and we're so pleased.  Thanks be to God.  But with comfort comes apathy, at least in my spiritual life.  I have totally fallen off the wagon in the last three weeks, engrossed in myself and my work and mindless entertainment - oh, and shopping. Ryan has been a bear - as he's already mentioned.  I say that with all the love in my heart that I have for that wonderful man, but I nearly booted him in the rear end a couple of times (like, I literally wanted to kick him).  So life just hasn't been quite on its normal track.

But anyway, back to this morning.  We walked into church, expecting for it to be a normal Sunday - inspirational, but perhaps not exactly life-changing.  The Holy Spirit, working through our pastor and the director of Lily of the Valley Orphanage in Chihuahua, Mexico, rained down all sorts of truth on our heads.  Love your neighbor.  Love your enemy (wow, needed to hear that!).  Love orphans.  We walked out of church kind of in a daze.  I felt completely convicted about my selfish, self-serving attitude lately.  I'm going through a really rough time in my life, so I deserve to be selfish about x, y, and z.  No, it doesn't work like that.  Praise God for a really good, well-timed smack across the face.  I also felt reaffirmed in my desire to someday, somehow be some sort of a mother to hurting children.  I don't know what that looks like, but I'm pretty certain that the child that I gave birth to in April 2010 is not the only child that I will have a direct impact on.  Lord, please take away cancer so that I can fulfill this calling to be a mother with my husband, who is the best father imaginable.


So that's the first thing.  I needed a butt-kicking.

The other thing I've learned is that I had to leave Facebook.  I'm off it kind of indefinitely.  I asked Ryan to change my password and not tell me what it is.  So if I don't respond to something, that's why.  I don't know for how long, but I do know that there were two definite reasons that Facebook needed to leave my life temporarily.  #1, I do not get on Facebook and spend a ton of time on there at one time, but I do check it too often.  Sometimes several times a day, for a minute or two.  What message does that communicate to my son, when I am constantly looking at my phone or the computer to see what my friends' statuses are?   I need to be more concerned about the status of my family and my relationship with God.

#2 reason for the Facebook hiatus: Facebook has caused too much anger for me lately.  For the last couple of months, my reaction to people's complaints about inconsequential things has gone from mild irritation to a totally visceral reaction.  Complaints about a cold or a flu bug?  Thank the Lord that that is the worst sickness that you have to deal with.  It's temporary.  It's inconsequential.  Complaints about morning sickness?  Trade places with me, please.  I'd love to be in your shoes and puking all over them.  Complaints about your naughty children?  Discipline them, then hug them and praise God for them.  Complaints about your job?  Can you please just be thankful that you have one?  There are millions of people that envy you.  Complaints about your parents or other family members?  I believe that there are tens of millions of orphans in our world that would love to be a part of your family.

I am not saying this because I want to be Bitter Betty, although I can veer into that dangerous territory in a quick second and must check myself.  I am not saying this because I want to compare my situation and say to you, "Pity me!  Look at how sorry my life is!  You should feel guilty!"  I am saying this because I want everyone, everywhere, including myself, to have an attitude of thankfulness no matter how deep the valley is that they're walking through.  The Lord dishes out blessings on a daily basis, and we should be thankful on a daily basis.  And until I can get my reactions under control, Facebook is not a healthy place for me to be...because mindless complaining is everywhere.  So pray for my attitude, please.

So, there it is.  That's what I've been learning lately.  This is what I'm conquering at the current time.

Phew.  I have rewritten the closing to this like five times because it's just really hard to conclude a blog when I'm really, really honest sometimes.  It makes me feel really vulnerable.  So I guess I'll just say...

THE END!