Sunday, July 7, 2013

The scab

That, my friends, is a bonafide little boy knee.

Colton and I have been very busy lately. We just got back from a ten day trip to Colorado, where we were able to explore, meet new people, catch up with family and friends, see new things, and relax. It was perfect. It was just what the doctor ordered. 

While Colton was there, he was incredibly active. He ran, jumped, and daredeviled. He has become quite a boy! Of course, in the course of these events, he picked up quite a few battle scars. The picture above is his skinned up knee from many exploits over the last couple of weeks. 

As I looked at his knee last night and prepared to kiss a boo boo acquired at a family Fourth of July party, it occurred to me that Colton's knee and my heart have a lot in common. Like his knee, my heart is healing. Actually, it is healing nicely and better than I thought. I feel like I'm adjusted, functioning, and feeling like myself again (for the most part). My sense of humor has returned, I don't feel lethargic anymore, and it feels like the black cloud isn't constantly hanging over my head.

However, not all days are perfect.

Something new happened to Colton last night. Another boo boo caused the scab on his knee to reopen, and fresh blood trickled out of the wound he acquired while jumping in a pile of rocks at a rodeo last weekend. 

So it feels with the scab on my heart.

Fourth of July parties - shouldn't he be here?

Colorado trip - gosh, I wish he were here with me to ___________ (fill in the blank).

Every time I have one of those moments (hours, days) where I miss him, it feels like the scab reopens and that same familiar grief comes running out. 

And yet, by the grace of God I am healing. I'll always have a little scab that will reopen from time to time. Sometimes the corner of the scab might peel up, and perhaps sometimes the entire scab will be roughly ripped off and I'll have to practically start over again. Maybe, like the skin on Colton's knee, the new flesh will not be the same color and the pink flesh will be telling of the massive scab that used to occupy that space.

But thankfully the God I serve is one that heals both physical and emotional scars. As He has been faithful to me thus far, I know he will continue to do so. By His grace, and with the comforting salve of the prayers of his Body and His saints (here's looking at you, Ry Guy), I know that I will continue to live life abundantly.


Linda Sowles said...

OMG, Kendra! This was just what I needed! I have just lived through my first year without my dad - who died July 4, 2012. Your connection between grief and a scab "hit the nail on the head" for me today. And, although this last week has been tricky for me - your message of hope, healing, and faithfulness is not only one that I can relate to - it is one that encourages me to keep going.

I think and pray for you and Colton often. Thank you for sharing your inspiring message today! It means so much to me.

Susan Rhem-Westhoff said...

Kendra, how beautiful and insightful. Pain makes one insightful, of course so does love. Thank you. {{{Hugs}}}

Cheryl said...

I was just praying for you, Colton, and your family this morning and wondered how all of you were doing. Thank you for sharing an update - I pray that God will continue to comfort and strengthen you and give you His peace. I also pray that He will continue to use Ryan's testimony and yours for His honor and glory.

Anonymous said...

That is exactly how it has been for me. You put it into words so beautifully. The scab still hurts and gets torn open at times, but healing is taking place. I hadn't really thought about equating the different color of the scar as being representative of a different life before. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Tammy Stace

Anonymous said...

Kendra, I continue to pray for you and Colton and the rest of the family each week. Thank you for sharing the grace God is extending to you.
In Christ,
Sheryl Gasser

Anonymous said...

Psalm 147:3 - He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. There will always be scars, unexpected bleeding now and then, but he is faithful and the real healer. Too bad so many hurting people in the world don't understand the real "bandaid" needed for their wounds, Jesus Christ. Thank you so much for sharing. Continued prayers for you and Colton.

Karen Minnema

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