Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Cycle 10

I had to go back on a calendar and count from April to see how many cycles we have done...we literally lost count. We are starting cycle 10 today. Please pray that this is very effective treatment, and that Ryan will feel pretty well afterwards.

I would be a liar if I told you that my spirits are great heading into it. I have been eyeing this date on the calendar for the last few weeks, dreading the day when our little shred of normalcy would come to an end. I am ticked off that cancer hasn't ended yet. I am cool with it so long as there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but there is not a cure in the foreseeable future and that just sucks. Yes, I know that I should be thankful instead of complaining, but wouldn't you rather that I not placate you with fake happiness? All the time the last two weeks I feel like our current state of life, with our hands tied by this cursed cancer, has been exacerbated by various circumstances. I'm not depressed, but I'm very sad. Just sad. And I hurt. Sigh. Okay. You have my express permission to stop reading this depressing manifesto. I know what's truth, but I'm just not feeling it in my heart at the present moment. Do you ever feel like there is a disconnect between your head and your heart?

So I'm going to end this with a call for encouragement from you, dear reader. I need fresh scripture, fresh promises. I am willing to stay in this fight but sometimes I need someone to prop me up. Can you do that?

We love you all and continue to covet your prayers for healing that only a mighty God can provide. Your importance to us cannot be minimized!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Praying for you

Anonymous said...

God Bless You

Anonymous said...

Matthew 11:28-30

Praying for you.

Mark Looman said...

Our God is not capricious.... “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

"To Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy-- to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authorty, through Jesus Christ our LORD, before all ages, now and forevermore! AMEN. Jude 24

Lee said...

"Find rest, my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8

I had to go grab my Bible right after reading your post. The Lord immediately brought this scripture to mind. We continue to pray. You are loved dearly.

Andrew Dickinson said...

I think I speak for the entire class when I say, We support you! Remember the donations we made and the party we won! We support you 100% and your husband will be cured!

Anonymous said...

Isaiah 61:1-4 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me because the LORD has annointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn and provide for the those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his slpendor....

I have know my own sadnesses, cried myself to sleep countless nights, rocked alone at night in deepest sorrow...my heart aches for your family, and I pray for you often, that you feel God's love and spirit surrounding you...

Anonymous said...

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God ,the creator of the ends of the Earth. And He does not grow tired or weary and His understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall, but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not be faint. They will walk and not grow weary!!!!!!!!!! You might have heard this but you may need to hear it again. Praying for you guys with all my might.

stephanie garcia said...

Psalm 34:18 "The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit."

May you sense His presence and comfort in a special way today.