Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of our friends and family.  Colton and I are grateful that we are so loved, so prayed for, and so supported through this first Christmas without our dear Ryan.  I have had so many Facebook messages, texts, and cards this year - it never ceases to amaze me how the body of Christ pulls through for us when we need it most!

I am so thankful that the same savior that has given me the grace to persevere through the most difficult year of my life, chose to take on human form and was born 2000 years ago with the loving intention of dying for my sin.  I am also grateful that my husband intimately knew that same savior and as I type this, is celebrating Christ's birth, work, and resurrection in Heaven.  No more pain, no more cancer.  Thank you, Jesus, for the hope and healing that we have in you.

And though our hearts ache for what we lost...

...we continue to focus on what the Lord has graciously given us: each other, a loving circle of family and friends, and His own precious Son.

Photo credit: Christine K Photography, Grandville, Michigan

Merry Christmas from the Prudhomme family!  May the peace of Christ remain in your heart as we begin a new year.

What do we have in common with this Christmas tree?

Look at our beautiful Christmas tree!

Forgive the bright light.  The sun is shining here!

This lovely, lovely tree came home to our house on Thanksgiving weekend.  My dad helped Ryan and I bring it home, get it set up in its water stand, and I enjoyed an afternoon of Michael Buble Christmas music and lovingly trimming its branches with every single ornament we have.  Normally I only put up the pretty (read: meaningless) ornaments, but this year every ornament on the tree is represented.

The little Santa bell from Playa del Carmen.

"Baby's First Christmas" ornament from 1984.

Detroit Tigers baseball (naturally)

Christmas really brings out the magnanimous nature in me - I even brought out the Western ornaments.

...including this kind of creepy little guy.

Handpainted treasures from our son. He was kind of going for a Claude Monet look.

A little latte ornament because one of my students from last year picked up on the fact that I'm in love with Starbucks.

There are many, many more crazy ornaments up here.  I love it.  I used to fight the kitschy ornaments but now I love them.  Each one of them has a story behind it.

Our tree is lit every night as we go about our business in the living room, which is the same room as the dining room and kitchen (little house).  Last week I noticed that a great deal of pine needles were carpeting the tree skirt and covering the actual living room carpet.  Ryan told me that the tree was starting to dry out, despite our desperate attempt to keep the tree watered and healthy.

The past week, the tree has shown more and more signs of decline.  The inner branches are starting to look brown.  Literally when you touch the tree, or sit down too forcefully on one of the nearby couches, you can hear pine needles hitting the presents below.  Last night as Ryan and I watched a movie, the tree spontaneously shed about a thousand needles all at once and we listened as the gifts below the tree were pelted for ten seconds straight.  At this rate, I don't know if this tree is going to make it to Christmas - tomorrow.

So from far away, our tree loooks lovely with its lights, baseball ornaments, tulle, and keepsakes.  But upon closer inspection, here is what you'll find:

Bare branches.  Note the plethora of pine needles below.

Despite outward appearances, our tree is dying right before our very eyes.

Now, lest you think that this is a cancer analogy, it's not.  I'm not writing this blog to talk about hidden diseases or medical issues or anything like that.

I'm telling you that a lot of us are like that tree, whether we are physically healthy or not.

"...but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:14

These words were spoken a couple of thousand years ago by the very man whose birth we are celebrating tomorrow.  He had encountered a Samaritan woman and he broke many cultural barriers by actually speaking to her.  He confronted her about her wayward life - her many broken relationships and her current adulterous one - and told her about what was the only thing in life that would fulfill her desperate need.

I have been that Samaritan woman at different points of my life, covering up a multitude of sins by trying to appear outwardly like I had things pulled together, all the while drowning in a sea of sin, self-pity, and selfishness.

I'm willing to bet that many of you that are reading this can identify with having a sore need for Christ's forgiveness and His living water.  Many of you are bone dry, tired, and losing your needles at an alarming rate - yet keeping up appearances.

Jesus came into this world to heal, forgive, redeem, and restore.  The same baby that lay in the manger is the man who was whipped, abused, nailed to a cross, and rose again to defeat sin that we may live abundantly.

It's too late for my Christmas tree.  On December 27th, it will be stripped of its ornaments, dragged out of my house while leaving behind an enormous amount of needles for me to vacuum up.  It will join its cousins in the forest behind our house and rot away.

But it's not too late for you to experience Christ's forgiveness and drink of His living water.

I pray that this Christmas season would be one of refreshment for you, whether you already know Christ or not.  Our family continues to live with the hope that He is a healer of every physical hurt, and every spiritual need.  He is our Savior - our everything.

Merry Christmas!

I'm Ornery

This week has been a great week. I'm not sure why. Even though I've felt up and down physically, I've had a deep sense of joy, peace, and fulfillment for a little over two weeks. I keep walking around just feeling so blessed and overwhelmed by what God has provided for me. Whether I was at a conference in San Diego, or sitting with my family reading books or watching movies, or having a couple really great days at work; I've emotionally and spiritually been in a great place the last couple weeks.

It's been wonderful.

Now I'm ornery! Why? I just found out today that we're going to be getting scans on December 26th. We knew they were coming but hadn't been able to pinpoint the date. Now I know, I'll be driving to a hospital to get scans and go through my least favorite part of this journey... on Christmas Day.

I'm not usually one who gets too hung up on holidays having to be celebrated on a certain day. For some reason this just isn't sitting well with me. I've been having the best time with my family ever lately and I am so excited for a little more quality time over Christmas. The last thing of all time I want to do is drive to Chicago to go to a hospital.

I'm so mad that Colton is going to spend Christmas night in a hotel. This combined with insomnia lately and not feeling too great today physically, have all led to me being a grouch tonight.

Here's the worse part. I'm mad about losing quality time with my family, and my response was to be a grump to my family???!!!!

What's wrong with me?

Can you relate to this one at all? Why is it that we often take out our frustrations on the people we love the most who may have nothing to do with the circumstances?

There's a lot of things I hate about cancer. I hate how it steals things from my life. I hate how it makes me feel violated and robbed. It intrudes into areas that I've tried to protect and keep "normal". I can't hide anything from it. Two summers ago we were blessed to spend a week at an incredible Lodge that friends allowed us to vacation at. Instead of totally relaxing, I was puking my guts out and had my worst cycle yet. Again, all I wanted was family time, instead I got more cancer crap!

Cancer invades like a plague. It looms over every part of your life. Like a dense fog that overtakes everything in its path, sometimes you just can't avoid it.

Sometimes it just plain makes you ornery, and that's okay. To be ornery. Unless you're a stepford wife or a robot, you're going to have emotions. What do you do with them though?

Ephesians 4:26

²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”...

I crossed the line when I took things out on my family. Emotions are powerful. The same high I've been riding the last couple weeks was just as emotionally driven as the low I experienced today. If we rely solely on our emotions we'll either think too highly of our selves or before too long we'll come crashing down to reality.

It's God's truth that we must cling to so that our emotions don't betray us.

One of my favorite ways to praise God is to remember the names of God. My grandmother taught me this.

ELOHIM......Genesis 1:1, Psalm 19:1 meaning "God", a reference to God's power and might.
ADONAI......Malachi 1:6 meaning "Lord", a reference to the Lordship of God.
JEHOVAH--YAHWEH.....Genesis 2:4 a reference to God's divine salvation.
JEHOVAH-MACCADDESHEM.......Exodus 31:13 meaning "The Lord thy sanctifier"
JEHOVAH-ROHI......Psalm 23:1 meaning "The Lord my shepherd"
JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH.......Ezekiel 48:35 meaning "The Lord who is present"
JEHOVAH-RAPHA.........Exodus 15:26 meaning "The Lord our healer"
JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU......Jeremiah 23:6 meaning "The Lord our righteousness"
JEHOVAH-JIREH.........Genesis 22:13-14 meaning "The Lord will provide"
JEHOVAH-NISSI.........Exodus 17:15 meaning "The Lord our banner"
JEHOVAH-SHALOM........Judges 6:24 meaning "The Lord is peace"
JEHOVAH-SABBAOTH......Isaiah 6:1-3 meaning "The Lord of Hosts"
JEHOVAH-GMOLAH........Jeremiah 51:6 meaning "The God of Recompense"
EL-ELYON..............Genesis 14:17-20,Isaiah 14:13-14 meaning "The most high God
EL-ROI................Genesis 16:13 meaning "The strong one who sees"
EL-SHADDAI............Genesis 17:1,Psalm 91:1 meaning "The God of the mountains or God Almighty"
EL-OLAM...............Isaiah 40:28-31 meaning "The everlasting God"

(taken from http://www.smilegodlovesyou.org/names.html)

Regardless of how I feel, when I remind myself of who the God I serve is, my faith is encouraged.

Regardless of where I will spend my evening Christmas night, or what tests, stress, and anxiety await me the next day, my God is still; the God of the mountains, the Lord my shepherd, and the everlasting God!

Merry Christmas from the Prudhomme family!

Merry Christmas from the Prudhomme family! The older two of us are very tanned...we just got back from a relaxing vacation in Mexico. The youngest is contentedly playing with the new toys he got from Santa (books, letters for the bathtub, and a holster with two cap guns). I am sipping coffee and wondering how I got to be this blessed. I have a job that I love, I have a beautiful family, and the best friends imaginable. As I thought this morning, it occurred to me that I would have none of this if I did not have Jesus. I have experienced blessings and peace and joy almost constantly for the past eleven years. If you have not the same hope that I have, I suggest that you give your life to Christ. It is incredible to walk in his presence.

Because a little baby was born in Bethlehem many years ago and grew up to give his life for my sins, I am able to live in complete confidence of my salvation. That is the greatest blessing I can have.




Come, thou long-expected Jesus,
born to set thy people free;
from our fears and sins release us,
let us find our rest in thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,
hope of all the earth thou art:
dear desire of every nation,
joy of every longing heart.

Born thy people to deliver,
born a child, and yet a king,
born to reign in us for ever,
now thy gracious kingdom bring.

By thine own eternal Spirit
rule in all our hearts alone;
by thine all-sufficient merit
raise us to thy glorious throne.

All I want for Christmas...

Today I had the unfortunate task of stopping at the mall to exchange a pair of shoes and buy Colton some socks.

Ha.  If you know me, you know that this is some SERIOUS sarcasm.  There is something about malls that gives me a warm, fuzzy feelings inside.

But, alas, today was not a big shopping day.  1 exchange and 1 purchase of toddler socks.  Not exactly a shopping spree, but I just like looking and walking around the mall.  Happy girl!

One thing stood out to me on my trip through JCPenney.  Near the center of the store, starkly in contrast to the many summer clothes that are still idling on nearby racks and clearance shelves, stood the beginnings of JCPenney's Christmas display.  CHRISTMAS.  It's still over three months away.  Are you ready?

I'm not.

I can already tell that the holidays are going to be hard for me this year.  I'm going to enjoy the season and cherish and savor every minute of it, but it will be dramatically different than 2010.  Christmas 2010 was so relaxed, so easy, so fun - after all, it was Colton's first!  And life was so laidback at that point.

And with Christmas come the presents!  Ugh.  I have a ginormous shopping list.  Buying gifts that no one needs has gotten seriously difficult for me the last couple of years.  What is the point?  The one thing that I want cannot exactly be wrapped up and placed underneath a tree, unless there is a bag of magical medicine somewhere that can be topped with a bow.  Truly, the only thing I'm asking for this year is a miracle.  Perhaps also healing.  Peace.  Comfort.  A Kodak moment to freeze in my mind that I can call upon in my memory for the rest of my life, like when our son was born.  I can still picture every feature of his warm, soft newborn face.  I intentionally seared that little face into my memory and prayed fervently that I would never forget what he looked like when he first opened up his eyes.  I'd like another moment like that for Christmas this year.

My Christmas is going to remain intentionally simple this year.  I have no desire to fall victim to the merchandising headache this year.  I just want time to celebrate our God.  I want time with my boys.  I want for my heart to be unconditionally content.

And, I want this stinking cancer to be GONE.

Here's praying that Christmas 2011 be a time of love, family, and celebration of Jesus' birth, and a time of great hope and promise not just for the Prudhomme family, but for all of us.  We have so much to be thankful for.  And we all have 96 days to get our hearts in the right place.