Prayer request for Colton

Hello friends, I don't have any deep thoughts to share today. I only have a simple request: that you would continue to pray for my precious son. He is really struggling right now to understand why his dad left him and there are a lot of emotions that we are handling. Anger and sadness are definitely the most prominent. It is all normal and a part of the healing process. Kids process grief so differently from adults and Colton didn't have the luxury of understanding for two years what was about to happen. He is just truly beginning to understand what this all means. 

Please pray for me, too. It rips me apart to see Colton so torn about it and when the grief causes anger and misbehavior, sometimes it's hard to discern what is normal toddler behavior and what necessitates further conversation with him. I certainly need wisdom and guidance to weather this particular storm. I am so grateful for your continued bringing us before the throne. 

More positive news!

Hi there everyone,

We are still here at the hospital, but it is starting to sound more and more like we might be getting out of here this week!  Our surgeon met with Ryan this morning and was extremely pleased with how he's doing.  Ryan has had a couple of really positive days and his paracentesis output has slowed down to absolutely NOTHING since yesterday morning. :)  Incision is doing very well, pain controlled, counts stabilizing, and he's getting much more mobile!  The news that we heard today was that Ryan could get discharged tomorrow to be able to go over to the hotel, and then depending on how he does caring for himself, we could go home - YES, I JUST SAID HOME - the best place on earth - on Wednesday or Thursday. :) :) :) :) :) :)

Please pray that direction!

We love you guys!

-kp

Edit: I also just remembered that Tigers baseball starts one week from today.  Oh my goodness, today is amazing.

Ryan is in surgery now.

I just said "see ya later" to him at 12:10 Central.

He is totally at peace with whatever outcome we have today. I am as well.

We read Psalm 86 while waiting for him to go back. That is my favorite "trench" psalm. Every time I feel pressed down or about to be destroyed, I read that and I remember that my God goes before me (us) and is my (our) Great Defender. We surrender ourselves fully and completely to His will.


And if our God is for us - then who could ever stop us?

And if our God is with us - then what could stand against us?

Laparoscopy tomorrow

Hello friends,

Well, it's scheduled.

Tomorrow later in the morning, Ryan will go in for a laparoscopy (you should hear how many different ways we have pronounced that today).  They are going in for a diagnostic laparoscopy, and they are going to look for "the leak".  If they do not find a leak or they find a tumor is simply "oozing" blood, then there is not much that they can do and the procedure will be over.  If they find a leak, they will try to cauterize, clamp, or sew the leak (whatever is appropriate).  There is a small risk that there might be a major organ involved in the leak, such as the colon.  There is a possibility of Ryan having to have part of his colon resected, if that is the case.

Yikes, I'm sure that just got your attention.

There are obviously some risks involved in this procedure.  The biggest is general anesthesia.  There are obviously more major risks if the procedure progresses to the point where they need to do an open surgery.  We ask for you to cover Ryan in prayer tomorrow, for his safety and for the wisdom and guidance for the doctors.  We feel at peace.  If this is successful and stops the leak, we are so grateful.  If it doesn't and we have to make some tough decisions, we are at peace with that as well.

Our God is so faithful to us.  As Ryan and I look back over the last seven years of marriage, we see so many instances of where we had needs, and God provided for them.  Every. Single. Time.  He's continuing to do the same for us now...covering us in grace and peace when we so sorely need it.


Psalm 85: 8-9


8 I will listen to what God the Lord says;
    he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants—
    but let them not turn to folly.
9 Surely his salvation is near those who fear him,
    that his glory may dwell in our land.

And he's in.

The procedure has begun. 3 hours or so. Will update soon.

“To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:25-31 NIV)

Pray for tomorrow!

Hi friends,

Thanks for praying us through the harrowing Friday afternoon. This weekend has been concerning. Ryan has lost a significant amount of blood. He's getting transfused pretty regularly, but his hemoglobin keeps seesawing. His clotting is back to normal again though, praise God.

A nurse just came in and told me that Ryan's angiogram should be happening tomorrow - unsure of the time. They will check his labs again tomorrow morning to ensure that he is built up enough when heading into the surgery.

All of the bleeding the last three days could be a blessing in disguise; that means that the leak should be visible during the procedure tomorrow. PLEASE PRAY LIKE CRAZY THAT THEY CAN FIX THE LEAK. I don't mean to be melodramatic, but this is absolutely crucial to his progress.

When I find out a time, I'll post a short update so that you can pray in earnest.

Ryan gave us quite a scare tonight. He's been pretty anxious so he took a drug called Ativan that he's taken plenty of times before with no adverse reactions. However, they gave him the IV form of it which is apparently PRETTY potent. He is currently absolutely passed out sleeping. I got pretty freaked out when I could not wake him up so I went to find a nurse and frantically texted my father in law to get here. Sorry for the scare, Steve. :) However, he's stable - just sleeping incredibly hard.

We continue to be so thankful for all of you. I can't tell you how much all of your prayers and notes are encouraging us right now when we need them so much.

The body of Christ is amazing.

Whoa

Procedure will be Monday. Exploratory Angiogram with the intent to embolize a bleed if they see one.


Ryan's blood cannot clot properly; this is why the procedure can't happen today. Plasma will be coming. Plasma MIGHT take care of the increased bleeding.


Radiation may be happening today as per usual.


Please keep praying. We are all having a slight case of PTSD after this episode the last hour. Seriously. We are all kind of a wreck right now.

Huge, huge prayer request.

Please put this prayer request out.  We need serious prayer right now.

Ryan's bleeding seemed to change last night - I wouldn't say that the production increased sharply, but the blood that was coming out of his bag was much darker than even earlier in the day yesterday.  We were slightly alarmed, but then this morning his hemoglobin had dropped rather significantly.  There is a team of doctors that was contacted (representing gastroenterology, interventional radiology, radiation, and surgery) that is trying to put a plan in place.  The initial plan sounds like he might have this angiogram and they will go in to look for this "fault" and embolize it to try to stop the bleeding.  This is a total 180 from what we had heard last week.

We are extremely confused and will soon be in a consult with the doctors.  We are asking for wisdom, for God's clear direction, and if Ryan has to have a procedure tonight - PLEASE PRAY FOR SAFETY!  We are extremely concerned.  We will, of course, update this blog as soon as we know anything more.  It may be short, but I'll keep my phone on me to be able to send out information as we gather it.


Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.

On Christ the solid rock I stand.

...all other ground is sinking sand.

All other ground is sinking sand.


Hello.  Here we are on Sunday, March 10.  I'm trying to keep the "clack clack" of the keyboard to a minimum as Ryan sleeps beside me.

The last couple of days have been both wonderful and rough.  Some close family members came into town for the weekend which was AMAZING, and we just said goodbye to the last of them.  We are back down to just immediate family plus one Amy. :)  It was wonderful to see people, but Ryan has been increasingly uncomfortable with some nagging GI symptoms.  Please pray for relief to come from those problems.  I think he'd be a thousand times happier if that were the case.

The bleeding has not stopped; if anything, it has increased slightly.  His hemoglobin is hanging in there, though, and we are grateful for that.  Radiation starts TUESDAY, please make sure that you circle and star that date on your calendar! When I know appointment times, I will make sure to tell you all so that you can specifically pray at the time of day that he has radiation.

Not much else to report medically.  Emotionally I think we are all just very drained and tired.  Monday punched us in the gut, then we got hopeful when there seemed to be some treatment options, and now it is very hard on everyone to see Ryan be uncomfortable.  Spiritually, Ryan continues to be our mouthpiece - or rather, God's mouthpiece, reminding everyone that our hope is in Christ, not here on earth.  I continue to remind myself of Romans 8:18: "I consider that our present sufferings do not compare to the glory that will be revealed in us."  Won't it be sweet, someday, for us all to have forgotten about these earthly troubles and to be in glory?  I'm shivering at the thought of that. How sweet that day will be!

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus' Name.

Pray for Dr. Eden!

Hello everyone.

Today has been a pretty calm day.  Ryan hasn't really had any procedures done except for another blood transfusion.  A slight downturn in both hemoglobin (darn) and bilirubin (yay!).  Bili will probably go up again tomorrow as a result of the transfusion but it's trending in the right direction.  It's important for it to go down so that we can do chemo.

Ryan met briefly with Dr. Eden (incredible, Christian radiation oncologist) today to talk about the upcoming IMRT treatments that he will start.  Good news: scans are first thing tomorrow morning and he can probably start radiation Monday, Tuesday or - HOLY COW, that was expedited.  Dr. Eden specifically asked for us to galvanize prayer support on our blog for him and his team.  A LOT hinges on these radiation treatments.  The outcomes that he is hoping for: stop/shrink new tumors and stop the exudative "leaking".  This is an extremely critical piece for Ryan to be able to continue treatment.  Please pray that Dr. Eden's hands will be guided by the Lord - that his team will be able to correctly map the radiation treatments and that the treatments will be effective.

Next steps

Oy.  This has been quite a day for Ryan, talking with lots of nurses and doctors.  As per usual, I am going to be doing bullet points because they help me keep my thoughts straight. :)

• His bleeding has picked back up again slightly. Although there have been some changes and abnormalities in the last 24 hours. It is very important to keep praying that direction, but it hasn't yet happened completely.
• He has another bleeding scan today at 1:30 CST to determine whether or not they will see any active bleeding.
• Doctors are conjecturing that he is having "exudative" bleeding, which would be a tiny leak of bloody fluid seeping from minuscule capillaries.  That type of bleeding would not be picked up on any scan, angiogram, or laparascopic surgery but would still produce a noticeable amount of drainage.  It is not nearly as serious as "active" internal bleeding would be - Ryan's whole system would be shutting down and he would be in a lot worse shape if that were the case.
• His hemoglobin went down a tiny bit and then stabilized and his bilirubin went up a tiny bit (from yesterday).  Although those are not the correct directions, they're minor changes and no one is alarmed. They're both still generally heading in the correct direction.
• So, that brings me to the next steps.  His primary oncologist has consulted with radiation, interventional radiology, and surgery.  The best course of action - Ryan is going to have targeted radiation to specific tumors that will last for five days. After that, the hope is that the new growths will be slowed/killed and then he can start chemo asap.  Everyone is in agreement that chemo needs to happen as fast as possible, but radiation could be the first step to gain some momentum against the cancer's growth.
• Consult for radiation (scans, mapping) should happen tomorrow or Friday.  Please pray for that to happen expeditiously - we are riding them to try to get it done as fast as possible.  He could possibly start radiation in the middle of next week.
• We are all relieved that there are some courses of action, but some hurdles need to be jumped.  Good thing we're all athletic. ;)  And pushy.  No one with the last name of Prudhomme sits back on their laurels.
• We know that many people would like to come and visit.  We have a lot going on right now, and Ryan only has so much energy.  Please direct your inquiries about visiting through Kendra - text me if you have my number, or email me through the form above and I'll get back with you shortly. If circumstances worsen and it becomes necessary for friends and family to travel, we will change our stance on this.  For now, though, it seems best to hold off.

Thank you so, so very much for your prayers.  I cannot reiterate enough how much they are sustaining us.  Today I'd ask you to pray for our sweet little boy.  We are doing our darndest to make sure that his needs are met, but obviously he's so little and he can sense something is up, yet he doesn't understand.  He does know that Daddy has "owies" but we are trying very hard to not alarm him and to keep him feeling safe and sheltered and loved.

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

My biggest prayer request for you ever!

It has been a very tough morning. I met with a couple of doctors this morning, mine and the gastroenterologist. Their consensus was things were a lot more serious. The bleeding seems to be come from one of the small newer tumors on the lobe of the liver. It is still probably "seeping" fluid.

The real problem is they HAVE to identify the source of the fluid. They think they know. They're talking with other Dr's about whether to do an angiogram to discover the source and then hopefully coagulate the tumor. The instrument has to get far enough up into the tumor in order to do that. 

THOSE THINGS HAVE TO HAPPEN, FIND THE BLOOD SOURCE, COAGULATE IT!

There are not strong odds for a successful procedure. 

Once the doctors decide to move forward, then there are still no guarantees. 

If they can stop the blood we're back in business. Work on getting my counts right and pursue treatment again. If they can't complete the procedure there are no more options. The blood will continue to leak into my body and after a while my organs will slowly start to shut down. 

This is the scary option. The Dr's said the don't honestly expect me to leave this hospital, and once the organs start to go it will be "sooner than later". 

Another slim but possible scenario is the tumor clots up on its own. This probably would've happened it it was going to but that's man's timing not God's. 

I won't lie and say I'm not scared. I was doing fine as I found out and was able to ask questions and keep it together. However once I started calling family members it became much more difficult. I felt like I was the one inflicting their pain. I know it wasn't me, but I felt like it was my fault.

I love God passionately and unashamedly. He is my all in all. My redeemer. This is still no more out of his hands than anything else I've faced so far. 

How can you help?

Kendra and Colton and my mom are headed down tonight to be together with us. Pray for safe travels. 

There are so many types of people grieving this right now, mother, father, wife, son, brothers, introverts, extroverts, .etc. Please pray we would have the Grace from God to deal with whatever news comes our way. That we would all lean on him in obedience and find our peace and joy and hope in him.

Pray for the Angiogram!!! That it would happen. That doctor's hands would be guided by Holy Angels to direct them. That they would find the source, get where they need to go, and stop the bleeding of this tumor!

Pray for Kendra and I as we may be living in two worlds more dramatically sooner than we expected. A foot in the strong possibility of fate, and a foot in the eternal and guaranteed promise of hope.

Pray for God's will to be done above all. Not my selfish will to be alive, but God's will regardless of how it affects me. He is Lord of Lord.

Please forward this blog to as many people as you can. The more people calling on God's name for His will to be done, the more please our Father will be. 

I and we are going to choose to glorify God no matter what happens. We have done that since April 1st, 2011. God is sovereign and we will live every moment purposefully trying to serve him. 

More questions than answers

Hello.

Sigh.

I really don't even know where to begin.

Today has been so hard.  Could it have been worse?  Yes.  Was it what we were hoping for?  No.  Was it what we were expecting?  Yes and no.

I could go into a really long and drawn out explanation and tell you about all of the times that opinions and plans have been changed today, but I'll spare you.  Essentially, there are some big hurdles that we have to overcome in Ryan's journey, and here they are:

• The theraspheres did what they were supposed to do! But...
• Ryan's cancer has advanced in other areas.  There are new lesions on his liver, near his colon, and in his pelvis...
• ...but he isn't experiencing pain nearly to the level that he would with so many lesions, so there are questions as to whether all of these masses are truly cancer, or are they something else?  (Blood? Infection?)
• Ryan is starting to present with ascites (LOTS of it), but when he was drained, the fluid was mostly blood...
• which leads us to the question: from where is this blood coming?  Is he bleeding internally?  His doctor has never seen this from a Theraspheres patient.
• His bloodwork also brought some concern.  His electrolytes are out of whack.  His bilirubin is creeping up, which we are seeing in the color of his eyes and his face.

All of these problems and questions are leading to the conclusion: Ryan has to be admitted to have further testing and to get his counts stabilized.  We are able to do this in Muskegon, so once he is done getting a magnesium infusion, we will hit the road.  Long, long day.  No chemo today.  Hopefully we will start treatment next week as soon as this all settles down.

We so appreciate your prayer and concern and we desperately need more prayer for wisdom as we attempt to navigate all of these new developments.

Please pray!

Hello friends, I just wanted to remind you that Ryan is going to be doing scans tomorrow. We are nervous about these, due to some recent side effects. Please pray for peace, no matter the outcome.

I love the Lord , for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live. The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came over me; I was overcome by distress and sorrow. Then I called on the name of the Lord : “ Lord , save me!” The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion. The Lord protects the unwary; when I was brought low, he saved me. Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, Lord , have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. (Psalm 116:1-9 NIV)

Another roadblock (sigh)

Dear family and friends,

I'm sure many of you are anxious to hear how things turned out with Ryan today. Well, as things have happened so many times in this long and arduous journey, we have mixed news to bring you.

Today Ryan received his second theraspheres treatment, and it was pretty uneventful. Like he was at Thanksgiving, he will be sore and sick for a few days. We might even actually be expecting jaundice and pain and other symptoms that totally threw us for a loop the last time and landed him in the ER twice in two days. He and his dad are on their way home right now from Zion and Ryan is doing just fine.

The prayer request part of this blog post is this: the tumor that we had mentioned in our previous blog post as a concern is now a major concern. Ryan has a tumor that is growing near the center of his liver that is not normal. It does not get its blood supply from the blood vessels that go to the liver; it is being supplied by blood vessels that supply his large intestine. What this means is that the treatment he has been receiving (theraspheres) is not going to be effective for that tumor whatsoever.

What does this fully mean? We are not sure yet. All that we know is that our doctors are not sure yet how to proceed and there is not a plan in place. There probably won't be a plan in place for a week or more. While this won't necessarily slow down treatment - Ryan will have to take a couple of weeks off after this radiation anyway - you all probably know how INCREDIBLY patient we Prudhommes are and how much we like to wait around for decisions to be made.

We will update you when we have more details. I really hate to leave you guys with more questions than answers but truly, we are in the same situation. We love you and continue to covet your prayers.

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord , 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'"

Psalm 91:1-2

Scans tomorrow - and Merry Christmas

From our house (or hotel, where we are currently), Merry Christmas! Ryan has scans tomorrow morning and we will find out the results in the afternoon. We are grateful for your bringing us before the throne. I would say that our state of mind is pretty peaceful right now. We are trying not to pin a lot of emotions on these results - after all, God is still in control no matter the outcome!

Thankful, yet worried.

Hello friends,

This is a day to remember what the Lord has done for us!  We are grateful for His provision and his mercies and since last year, we have tried to live each day with Thanksgiving. (See this previous post.)

Yet today is a concerning day.  I write this post from a Marriott in Kalamazoo - another day, another hotel.  We came here last night to rest before our family's Thanksgiving dinner today in Gull Lake.  However, Ryan has been having increasingly concerning symptoms, most notably intense pain.  We are not sure why the pain is here.  He has had slight, intermittent pain throughout his whole journey, but not this prolonged and not this severe.  He literally can hardly breathe or move.  We are unsure whether or not this is cancer metastasis, or simply irritation from yesterday's procedure.  We are praying for the latter.  We are also praying for wisdom.

We will keep you posted, but in the meantime - enjoy your Thanksgiving and please pray for us!

Theraspheres

Hello friends, Ryan's therasphere treatment starts at 9 a.m. Eastern.  Please be praying!

Don't forget to pray!

Just a quick update to remind you that tomorrow is Ryan's mapping procedure and lung shunt.  These tests will determine whether or not he is a candidate for the Theraspheres.  It is critical that we pray him through tomorrow!

Another prayer request is that he can get the actual procedure done ASAP.  We want to lose as little "ground" as possible.  We are both nervous and edgy about all the time that he has been off of treatment.

Not much else to say tonight.  Please, please just pray - and thank you, because I know that you already are.

Another twist in the road...

Exhale.

I finally just got back to the hotel room after a very long day with my husband of appointments, consultations, crying, feeling better, breaking down again, putting on a brave face for Colton, and going to another consultation.  Essentially, we have not received good news today, but we still have options moving forward.

This morning, we met with our primary oncologist and he delivered a couple of bad news blows: the two tumors that were left in August (very small) are a mixed bag: one shrank, one grew.  However, there is also another mass that has appeared.  Our oncologist thinks that it is probably another tumor, but our interventional radiologist (that we just met for the first time today) postulated that it also might be scar tissue or something from a dead tumor.  Who knows.  Regardless, the treatment that Ryan has been doing lately - the nasty, nasty chemotherapy treatment - is not effective any longer.  So on to plan K (we've exhausted all of the letters A-J, it seems).

Radiation theraspheres.  Some of the people reading this blog right now are probably very familiar with these, but most of you probably are not.  Theraspheres are tiny, radioactive (Yttrium-90) glass beads that are injected into an artery near the right lobe of Ryan's liver, with the intention of attacking and shrinking and killing the 2-3 tumors located there (I should note, before I forget, that there is not any active disease in his lymph nodes, nor is there any disease anywhere else in his body - praise God).  This will hopefully take place in the next two weeks.  Pray for a.) our insurance policies to approve it, b.) for the consultations and procedure to take place expeditiously, and c.) for no more disease to spread in the interim.

A couple of positives about doing the theraspheres: Ryan will get about a month break from chemotherapy - if not six weeks.  He is MAJORLY celebrating this.  Also, this procedure does not have very many side effects.  He's been feeling fine lately (aside from chemo symptoms), so hopefully he has the next six weeks to enjoy a small break from the drudgery of chemo.

Some patients have had wildly successful experiences with radiation theraspheres, some have not had any success.  Our doctor does still have a couple of chemotherapy treatments in mind, so this is not the end of the line by any stretch of the imagination.  This is a temporary setback.  However, earlier today, it felt like I had my heart ripped out of my chest.  This afternoon has been very, very hard and full of rage and tears, but at the end of the day, I know that we serve a God who is sovereign, loving, and wise.  Nope, this wasn't my choice - I wanted to hear those words "cancer free" so badly today, but those will apparently be saved for another day in the future.  If this is His will, if this is His plan, then we gladly follow this newest twist in the road and trust Him implicitly.


Proverbs 3 (NIV)

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.