I'm not dead yet (subtle Monty Python reference).
Wow what a month. It's hard to know where to start to try and summarize how I've felt over the last couple weeks. It wasn't too long ago we were anxiously awaiting the results of our scans.
Imagine our joy and thankfulness when it was revealed how much progress had been made due to treatment, radiation, and prayer. We celebrated and cried, but it was always a little reserved.
This was a huge step, a step we'd been praying for. However it's still one step. There is a long journey ahead of us no matter how things turn out. So I have to keep my "game face" on to a certain extent. That being said because this battle can weigh so heavily on you, you have to celebrate the joys God gives you.
A week later we had met Chris Tomlin, been hospitalized, and were still waiting to find out what was going on. A urinary tract infection turned septic was the hidden cause behind the pain, amnesia, disorientation and everything else.
A short five day vacation in the hospital in Chicago was exactly what I needed. God's ways are higher than my ways though. Through the course of tests to determine the source of the infection, a test showed the tumors were still shrinking even since the previous week!!! How great is our God?
Then my treatment was delayed for a couple weeks as I recovered. I was tired, mentally drained, and overall very exhausted for the majority of the last two weeks. Monday we finally started treatment again at a lower dose to make sure my counts stay high enough (prayer request).
Yesterday, Kendra, Colton and I headed out to Pennsylvania to Miracle Mountain Ranch to attend their family camp and be able to share our story. This is another camp that has played a part in shaping who I am today. The staff have been friends and mentors who have supported and guided me since I was 15.
In the meantime Kendra has started school, Colton is back in daycare, and things at camp feel busier than ever! I don't know where God is taking us over the next couple weeks/months but I do know I'd rather have God plan it than me.
There's no deep point or analogy today. To be honest I'm having a hard time finding moments of clarity to share what's on my heart. Don't mistake that for God not continually challenging and molding me. There's so much going on that I would like to share. Getting it from my broken mind at times is very difficult.
Please pray for our little family over this time of transition.
- That Ryan would have energy and be able to help out with keeping up life
- That Kendra would start the school year off with a bang and have chances to impact other students and teachers
- That Colton would do well at daycare and continue to be sheltered from the effects of my cancer on our family
- That Ryan would be protected physically from infection, low counts, complications
- That the cancer would continue to die, disappear and doors would open for future treatment options
- That Kendra and I would continue to be obedient even when it's overwhelming and God would use our story to change lives!