Friday, October 26, 2012

Another twist in the road...

Exhale.

I finally just got back to the hotel room after a very long day with my husband of appointments, consultations, crying, feeling better, breaking down again, putting on a brave face for Colton, and going to another consultation.  Essentially, we have not received good news today, but we still have options moving forward.

This morning, we met with our primary oncologist and he delivered a couple of bad news blows: the two tumors that were left in August (very small) are a mixed bag: one shrank, one grew.  However, there is also another mass that has appeared.  Our oncologist thinks that it is probably another tumor, but our interventional radiologist (that we just met for the first time today) postulated that it also might be scar tissue or something from a dead tumor.  Who knows.  Regardless, the treatment that Ryan has been doing lately - the nasty, nasty chemotherapy treatment - is not effective any longer.  So on to plan K (we've exhausted all of the letters A-J, it seems).

Radiation theraspheres.  Some of the people reading this blog right now are probably very familiar with these, but most of you probably are not.  Theraspheres are tiny, radioactive (Yttrium-90) glass beads that are injected into an artery near the right lobe of Ryan's liver, with the intention of attacking and shrinking and killing the 2-3 tumors located there (I should note, before I forget, that there is not any active disease in his lymph nodes, nor is there any disease anywhere else in his body - praise God).  This will hopefully take place in the next two weeks.  Pray for a.) our insurance policies to approve it, b.) for the consultations and procedure to take place expeditiously, and c.) for no more disease to spread in the interim.

A couple of positives about doing the theraspheres: Ryan will get about a month break from chemotherapy - if not six weeks.  He is MAJORLY celebrating this.  Also, this procedure does not have very many side effects.  He's been feeling fine lately (aside from chemo symptoms), so hopefully he has the next six weeks to enjoy a small break from the drudgery of chemo.

Some patients have had wildly successful experiences with radiation theraspheres, some have not had any success.  Our doctor does still have a couple of chemotherapy treatments in mind, so this is not the end of the line by any stretch of the imagination.  This is a temporary setback.  However, earlier today, it felt like I had my heart ripped out of my chest.  This afternoon has been very, very hard and full of rage and tears, but at the end of the day, I know that we serve a God who is sovereign, loving, and wise.  Nope, this wasn't my choice - I wanted to hear those words "cancer free" so badly today, but those will apparently be saved for another day in the future.  If this is His will, if this is His plan, then we gladly follow this newest twist in the road and trust Him implicitly.


Proverbs 3 (NIV)

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

10 comments:

William Nelson said...

Kendra, you Ryan, your family and your doctors are in our prayers!!!! Bill & Cricket Nelson...

Anonymous said...

Sending prayers! Stay strong in your faith!

Beth VDH said...

thought of you guys all day and prayed for you throughout. praying for wisdom and peace, and for the new treatment to be successful. praying God give you strength for each new day!

Carol said...

I've been praying extra-hard this week for you guys. I will continue to lift you up. Praying for peace, hope, mercy and lots of encouragement for you and your family. God bless you!

Anonymous said...

I prayed for you guys today.

Brandon Bruce
www.lansingfaith.org

Traci B. said...

Such sweet spirits! Praising Him in such darkness, you (your family) are such an inspiration to us all! God will see you through, continue the walk, the faith and the love of Christ... He WILL see you through!

Anonymous said...

I only wish I could better understand why...
I know our God has a plan for each & everyone of us but some times I find myself wondering what his ultimate plan for us.
I have learned during this cancer journey that I too have no choice but to turn it all over to our God & just trust "In Him".
But Ryan, Kendra & Colton ~ you know you all are so, so loved, cared for, honored, respected, prayed for by so many, I know God hears us - I just pray that everything will go as comfortable & smoothly as possible!

Kristine said...

The strength in your faith is amazing & inspiring. Prayers for you & your family.

Ryan said...

Thank you so much guys! Your prayers and encouragement really mean more than we can express. We know God is good, and this is just a valley. We've had deeper valley's before and God was faithful. He will be faithful again. He has to be. He's God. You are all such a blessing to us. Thank you.

Jess said...

Know you are loved and covered in prayer by your friends here at Holland Christian.