Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Can cancer be funny?

I like to think I'm a funny guy (no, not funny-looking, Kendra). Laughing just makes life better. I also am extremely sarcastic and have a dry sense of humor. So that being said, here are the top 10 funny things about cancer.
  1. You can put on 30 lbs and everyone thinks that you look great.
  2. You don't have to worry about microwaving Styrofoam any more, what could happen? You might get cancer? Not too concerned.
  3. Chemo turns you into a pregnant lady. You smell things from a mile away, you get cravings for odd things, and now some foods make you ill just thinking of them.
  4. People ask about your bodily functions pretty often, and they seem genuinely interested.
  5. Things that you have always denounced - acupuncture, holistic medicine, etc. - seem very intriguing and you find yourself discussing them at great lengths while your friends nod and smile.  What a weirdo.
  6. You get self conscious when you sit during worship at church, but you see the elderly, handicapped, and/or pregnant people around you standing - no, JUMPING - to praise God.
  7. You find a gray hair, and rejoice that you still have hair on your head.
  8. You break more of a sweat waiting for results of scans than actually exercising.  Oh wait.  You probably aren't exercising.
  9. Trying to return all of the pots, pans, and casserole dishes to the various people that bring meals to you is like trying to play connect the dots blindfolded.
  10. When you hear the words PET and CAT, you think more about lying in a little tube and the nasty stuff you have to consume to prepare for the test than a furry animal.


Amy said...

Re: #5. I still think you should try yoga. Not for any reason other than I would PAY to see you try yoga.

Ryan said...

I'm more of a believercise kind of guy.


Anonymous said...

Haha! That's cute!