Anxiety builds.

When I get stressed about this cancer stuff, there are a few places that I run to:

• Country Dairy
• God
• Psalms, number 46 in particular
• Ryan
• a certain playlist on my iPhone

(God would be number 1...those are in random order, I promise you.)

Today I have spent time with all of those, except for Country Dairy - because we are in Chicago.  If we were in New Era and only two miles away from Country Dairy like we normally are, I'd probably be lunching there today on a cheddar bacon burger.  Mmm...

But really, the point of this post is, there have been two songs over the last week that are helping my heart be pointed in the right direction as we anxiously await the test results of Ryan's scans tomorrow.  I hope that you'll click on them and read the lyrics.  They are powerful.  Music speaks to me so powerfully and evokes powerful emotions...these help evoke a strong sense of peace and determination that I will follow the Lord's will with all my heart and understanding.  I will worship Him no matter Tuesday's outcome.

Hillsong United, "The Stand"

You stood before creation 

Eternity within Your hand 

You spoke the earth into motion 

My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure 

Carried the Cross for my shame 

My sin weighed upon Your shoulders 

My soul now to stand

So what can I say 

What can I do 

But offer this heart O God 

Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation 

Your Spirit alive in me 

This life to declare Your promise 

My soul now to stand

So what can I say 

What can I do 

But offer this heart O God 

Completely to You

So I'll stand 

With arms high and heart abandoned 

In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand 

My soul Lord to You surrendered 

All I am is Yours

Chris Tomlin, "I Will Rise"

There's a peace I've come to know 

Though my heart and flesh may fail 

There's an anchor for my soul 

I can say "It is well" 

Jesus has overcome 

And the grave is overwhelmed 

The victory is won 

He is risen from the dead 

[Chorus:] 

And I will rise when He calls my name 

No more sorrow, no more pain 

I will rise on eagles' wings 

Before my God fall on my knees 

And rise 

I will rise 

There's a day that's drawing near 

When this darkness breaks to light 

And the shadows disappear 

And my faith shall be my eyes 

Jesus has overcome 

And the grave is overwhelmed 

The victory is won 

He is risen from the dead 

[Chorus:] 

And I will rise when He calls my name 

No more sorrow, no more pain 

I will rise on eagles' wings 

Before my God fall on my knees 

And rise 

I will rise 

And I hear the voice of many angels sing, 

"Worthy is the Lamb" 

And I hear the cry of every longing heart, 

"Worthy is the Lamb" 

[x2]

[Chorus:] 

And I will rise when He calls my name 

No more sorrow, no more pain 

I will rise on eagles' wings 

Before my God fall on my knees 

And rise 

I will rise