Wednesday, November 9, 2011

What a week

Excuse me if this turns into a ramble. I've got so much on my mind including chemo brain. Things are a little fuzzy right now but I'm going to do my best.

First, Praise God. Wow, what an incredible blessing and surprise. I have never doubted that God was always able to shrink tumors, but I have wondered if he would choose to. Quite honestly as I waited in that tiny room I was hoping and praying for the status quo, that things wouldn't have progressed. I was very doubtful that shrinking might be an option. After the last scans which showed no change, our doctor said if things were going to shrink they probably would have by then. That was hard to hear.

I still knew God could do anything, the options just seemed to be getting more limited. So when the doctor came in and told us that things were shrinking we were totally caught off guard. It's a fine line between making your requests known to God and praying in confidence, and trusting in God's sovereignty.

For the tumors to start shrinking now defy medical logic. However it completely is within God's logic. His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts higher than our thoughts. So as I often pray Lord help my unbelief.

This is great news, incredible. We're partying like it's __________ (fill in the blank with some random year ending in nine). God has answered our prayers in a physical tangible way. This is nothing short of a modern day miracle in my mind. I'm still not sure how to handle it. Things had been so apprehensive for a couple days and especially the few hours before the appointment, that when we got this news, it was such a surprise. It took a while for it to sink in, it's still sinking in.

But this is also just a first step. As I told Kendra so many times before the appointment, "Bad news doesn't mean we have no hope, and good news doesn't mean I'm cured". No matter what news we got it is still going to be an up and down battle with setbacks and progress. There is still so many things that have to go right and so many things that could go wrong between now and a transplant. It would be years away.

That doesn't mean we shouldn't, aren't, or won't celebrate God's goodness for today. He has chosen to bless us with a period of wonderful news. Heading into Thanksgiving and Christmas we will have a new miracle to praise Him for.

We will maintain treatment as long as it is working. Let's pray for a long, long time of that, unless God should choose to shrink things even faster.

I believe there are two reasons God has blessed us this way;

1. God's Sovereignty. Only He knows ultimately why things have started to turn around. It is a part of His plan and He is still in control.

2. The prayers of the saints. There are so many people praying for us that it is overwhelming. People literally all across the world, organized prayer chains, intercessory prayer teams, friends, family, strangers, and so many people that we'll never hear from. I've met so many new friends that introduced themselves as, "hello, I'm so and so and I've been praying for you!". What an incredible blessing and gift all this prayer is. God hears our prayers. Today He has answered. Please keep it up.

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